A Desire for Sobriety

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  1. Angela Zimmerman February 24, 2012, 8:20 pm

    Paul, I JUST did something similar with a woman I’ve been working with for about 3 years. I had to say to her, “Once you’ve been in the program for six weeks, then call me. We’ll go out to dinner. We’ll talk. I love you.” After 3 years of trying to help her find the right help, I realized that it was ME holding her back from what she needed: to make a decision for herself. She never did anything without asking me first (and even then she never listened to me). But this needs to be her decision. I know there are people in the program who are there to help her; they will guide her toward the healing she is looking for, if she’s willing.

    It’s difficult for these dear ones. They can’t handle things of reason as easily as those who have never been through severe dysfunction. They can only take it a little at a time. There’s a fine line of grace and boundaries, but I’m convinced that people don’t find true healing without boundaries to help them achieve it. Grace is good. But grace with guilt is never good. Remember what Jesus said to the paralytic? “I can heal you,” He said. “But do you want to be healed?” (John 5:1-17) Obviously, it was an important question to not only for our Savior to ask, but for the sick one to answer. Our job is to ask the question. Their job is to answer it.

    May the LORD continue to guide and bless you in your work.