Relationships are Not Effecient

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Quality time is important. Being actively engaged with our children in their schoolwork or their activities or by simply reading a book is important. But they need quantity time, too, and lots of it. Even if there’s nothing special on the agenda, they need to know that we’ve chosen to be in the room or in the house with them, over all the other interests competing for our time.

Dungy, Tony; Nathan Whitaker (2011-02-21). Uncommon: Finding Your Path to Significance (Kindle Locations 823-826). Tyndale House Publishers. Kindle Edition.

Relationships are not efficient.  They are messy, cannot be dictated by bulleted lists, and are rarely convenient.

I can’t sit down across from my wife and kids and say, “Ok.  I’ve scheduled 10 minutes.  Let’s have a deep conversation. Go!”  Sometimes, I have to work in the garden with my bride all day so that we can have that one, 20 minute conversation that will renew our spirits and remind us of our love for each other.  I have to take my son with me on an errand that will take half a day so that we can have a meaningful conversation in the aisle of Home Depot.  I have to take my oldest daughter to youth group meetings just so that we can have a moment of connection while waiting for hot chocolate and coffee at Dutch Bros.

These moments, so necessary for relationship, are impossible to script.  But, if I schedule the time and if I am fully present, the moments will come.

And, they will all be worth every minute away from email, meetings, and other such nonsense.